Thank you everybody who commented on my last post. I really needed to hear all that. I keep telling myself that he's a good kid and doesn't mean to act the way he does (all the time..) but sometimes he can't help it and that's not his fault. Sometimes I just want to shake him and ask him what the hell is wrong with him, but I already know.
It really doesn't help that i'm already stressing about Kyle's upcoming surgery either. I think i'm gonna need some happy pills to get me past this surgery. It's not until September, but it's already hit me like a ton of bricks. I was watching Guardian Angel M. D. the other night and it showed a scene where the parents were saying goodbye to thier little one as the nurses took him off to surgery and all of those emotions from Kyle's last three surgeries came flooding back. It is so unbelievabley hard to send your little baby off to major surgery. They walk down that hallway thinking everything is fine and then come back to you on steroids and morphine and they don't know what the hell happened, they just know that Mommy let it happen. I know that it has to happen and there's no alternative, but I HATE IT. I hate seeing my baby like that with his precious little face swollen up like a big marshmellow and tubes and wires hanging out of every opening of his little body. I want to be able to prepare him for this but there's really no way to tell a 17 month old that doctors are going to cut open his face. I have hopes that the recovery will go smoothly, but I really doubt it. This will by far, be the most complicated surgery he's had to date. They are going to close his submucous cleft palate, close his aveolar ridge and do a lip revision. He'll be fine and we'll all get through it, momma's just gonna need some major therapy and quite a few bottles of vodka to keep sane until all of this is done.
"Yes I worry about her future, her challenges, her resilience and her pain. But in the quiet night, when I hold her against me, all that matters is that she is mine, my baby, my own."
--Patricia Bacon Smith
It really doesn't help that i'm already stressing about Kyle's upcoming surgery either. I think i'm gonna need some happy pills to get me past this surgery. It's not until September, but it's already hit me like a ton of bricks. I was watching Guardian Angel M. D. the other night and it showed a scene where the parents were saying goodbye to thier little one as the nurses took him off to surgery and all of those emotions from Kyle's last three surgeries came flooding back. It is so unbelievabley hard to send your little baby off to major surgery. They walk down that hallway thinking everything is fine and then come back to you on steroids and morphine and they don't know what the hell happened, they just know that Mommy let it happen. I know that it has to happen and there's no alternative, but I HATE IT. I hate seeing my baby like that with his precious little face swollen up like a big marshmellow and tubes and wires hanging out of every opening of his little body. I want to be able to prepare him for this but there's really no way to tell a 17 month old that doctors are going to cut open his face. I have hopes that the recovery will go smoothly, but I really doubt it. This will by far, be the most complicated surgery he's had to date. They are going to close his submucous cleft palate, close his aveolar ridge and do a lip revision. He'll be fine and we'll all get through it, momma's just gonna need some major therapy and quite a few bottles of vodka to keep sane until all of this is done.
"Yes I worry about her future, her challenges, her resilience and her pain. But in the quiet night, when I hold her against me, all that matters is that she is mine, my baby, my own."
--Patricia Bacon Smith
10 Comments:
My stomach got all knotted up reading this post. I can't even imagine having to let go of my son for a surgery. I agree, lots of vodka for mommy!
((Cranky Momma)) Hang in there, honey... you are a rock, honey, you've already dealt with so much.. you and Dawn are super moms to me.
((((hugs))) Ya'll will be in my prayers!
Oh baby girl, I wasn't kidding that we SO have to get our boys together! Lets go swimming SOON. XOXOXO And BIG smooches to kyle
You're such an amazing mom, Cheryl. Both of those boys don't realize it quite yet, but one day you're going to hear them tell you that you are their hero. Hang in there. Oh, and the hyper kid playing with others thing you've written about? Fuggidaboutit. My red dye #40 intolerant girl can outspazz your ADHD boy anytime. Let's playdate and I'll prove it to you. :) Email me and we'll set something up.
Be strong girl. Lots of vodka for mommy and lots of fellow mommy hugs and you will make it through and so will he. Strong, brave little boy.
((HUGS))
Just let me know when you need that Vodka, I mean after all, I do work for a liquor company.
Sending prayers.
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