Alright, I know i've been quiet lately. I don't really have a good reason as to why except that i've been sort of depressed and overwhelmed with everything that is going on. I thought about shutting the blog down or just changing it to a different site so that I could write anything I want and not have to worry about depressing every body else, but I decided not to do that. For a while I wasn't even sure that I wanted to post anything about all that's been going on for fear of people critisizing my parents or coping skills, but at this point I just don't care. I need to talk about this stuff somewhere and since this is my blog I figure this is probably the place to do it since I don't want to bore my husband more that I already do...
So, i'm sure at this point you are wondering what the hell is going on, right? Well, there's been a lot going on. Tyler, my oldest boy has been diagnosed with ADHD (at 4!!) and we have been having a really hard time dealing with his behavior. It seems like every time we take one step forward we go two steps back. It's gotten to the point that he is being agressive with the little one, is getting into every thing possible and is just generally hard to be around. And now it seems that every where I turn that people are telling me that it's somehow my fault. I don't know, maybe it is. Everybody has an opinion on how I should talk to him and what kind of punishments I should use and how I'm just a crappy parent because I can't control my child. I don't even want to take him out for playdates anymore because I'm so insecure in my parenting skills. I don't want other parents sitting there saying "what is wrong with her" or "why can't she control her child." I am doing the best I know how to do damnit. And on top of that, it seems that everytime we do get together with somebody, Tyler ends up getting blamed for something that is not completely his fault. I know that he's hyper and is hard to deal with but that doesn't mean that every time another child starts crying it's automatically his fault, but he gets blamed for it either way until it's sorted out. It just kills me that my kid is always made to look like the bad guy and that every where we go that there is always somebody yelling at him. I know the kind of stress that he can put on people, but that doesn't mean that everybody needs to gang up on him. He's only four years old, but because he's a big kid everybody assumes that he should act a certain way. But again, he is only FOUR. Any other four year old can pull all kinds of crap and not really get in trouble, but when mine does it, it's just not acceptable. Whatever... Shit, I don't even know where the hell I was going with this, I guess I just needed to get it off of my chest.
Okay, i'm gonna go cry into my soda now. Please don't let me scare you away from commenting or anything. I really do want to hear what people have to say. I just want them to tell it to me, not to my child or behind my back...
Note: I'm really not trying to blame everything on everybody else. I just get overwhelmed sometimes and that is how it feels to me. Tyler is a great kid and it just kills me that other people can't see that. I should prolly just erase this post, but i'm not going to because like I said before, I gotta say it somewhere and the hubs doesn't want to hear it.
So, i'm sure at this point you are wondering what the hell is going on, right? Well, there's been a lot going on. Tyler, my oldest boy has been diagnosed with ADHD (at 4!!) and we have been having a really hard time dealing with his behavior. It seems like every time we take one step forward we go two steps back. It's gotten to the point that he is being agressive with the little one, is getting into every thing possible and is just generally hard to be around. And now it seems that every where I turn that people are telling me that it's somehow my fault. I don't know, maybe it is. Everybody has an opinion on how I should talk to him and what kind of punishments I should use and how I'm just a crappy parent because I can't control my child. I don't even want to take him out for playdates anymore because I'm so insecure in my parenting skills. I don't want other parents sitting there saying "what is wrong with her" or "why can't she control her child." I am doing the best I know how to do damnit. And on top of that, it seems that everytime we do get together with somebody, Tyler ends up getting blamed for something that is not completely his fault. I know that he's hyper and is hard to deal with but that doesn't mean that every time another child starts crying it's automatically his fault, but he gets blamed for it either way until it's sorted out. It just kills me that my kid is always made to look like the bad guy and that every where we go that there is always somebody yelling at him. I know the kind of stress that he can put on people, but that doesn't mean that everybody needs to gang up on him. He's only four years old, but because he's a big kid everybody assumes that he should act a certain way. But again, he is only FOUR. Any other four year old can pull all kinds of crap and not really get in trouble, but when mine does it, it's just not acceptable. Whatever... Shit, I don't even know where the hell I was going with this, I guess I just needed to get it off of my chest.
Okay, i'm gonna go cry into my soda now. Please don't let me scare you away from commenting or anything. I really do want to hear what people have to say. I just want them to tell it to me, not to my child or behind my back...
Note: I'm really not trying to blame everything on everybody else. I just get overwhelmed sometimes and that is how it feels to me. Tyler is a great kid and it just kills me that other people can't see that. I should prolly just erase this post, but i'm not going to because like I said before, I gotta say it somewhere and the hubs doesn't want to hear it.
11 Comments:
Hugs sweetie. Maybe you need to come hang out w/ my wild boys. : 0
You're a great mom. You're just listening to the wrong people if you think otherwise.
Aw man! I've never seen your kid in action so I can't comment on that. Have you tried to alter his diet?
I really have no idea but that's what I've heard.
I used to be embarrassed too on playdates because Nico was so crazy and pushy but he was living in a bubble (needed ear tubes, allergy meds).
I'm sorry other people have made you feel it's your fault. We can only do our best and sometimes we all fail to be calm.
GIRL we have to get our boys together sometime. I GUARANTEE your little man will have met his match *grin* and BIG HUGS too.
Uhhh... We had a playdate this week...
Am I in trouble?
And WTH didn't you call? It's not like I've never pulled a caffeine and chocolate soaked all-nighter to meet a deadline before--I can take the time to talk :-)
Or come over and we'll walk the dog ;-)
Bring him over... Cassie will kick his ass for you... *laugh* - she's in RARE form these days... sigh, I thought I was such a smart 'good' mother with Jamie... he was false advertising :-)
Hang in there, woman... ((HUGS))
Dy, it's not you... More like my parents, the evil SIL and now brother, parents at the park and the list goes on and on... I'm prolly just being too sensitive, but it hurts when your family never has anything good to say about you or the way you raise your children.
That just sucks. My sister goes through this with her twin boys. I've seen her frustration too. She finally had to put them on medication when they were 6. It seems to help, but it's not for everybody.
((Hugs))
You're right, it's your blog and you should feel free to post whatever the hell you feel like saying! ;o)
Sounds like it's time to get all of our crazy 3, 4 & 5 year olds together and show eachother that we're not alone. LOL!
a) Please don't erase this.
b) Did you steal my child?
Seriously I have had many times I could have written you're exact post (like yesterday after an easter party) I dropped out of one mom's group because #1 was ALWAYS getting blamed for everything, and while I'm first to admit he can be obnoxious so were the other kids.
And I went for a period of time where I wouldn't go to playgroups...ask Candy or Delaine about my horror child ;-)
I also have a mother who is constantly saying. You're a good mother but you're too hard on him - or - Well, I wouldn't let him get by with that.
Honestly the more I research learning disabilities (which ADHD falls under) because I'm seeing problems coming in the future, the more I'm finding I'm not alone, and while I think ADHD exists, there are alot of other issues that play into it, like speech, dyslexia, etc.
Email me if you want to "talk" more
IMHO, there is a HUGE difference between a mom that totally ignores it when there's a real problem at a playgroup (like the kid is being a bully) and the mom that knows to watch out for warning signs. Kids fight at playgroups. Heck, mine are no angels and I'm laid back about it - no blood, no foul - remember? I've been with all of you ladies and I've never seen any of you guys let a situation get out of control... you are all like me, I think... as long as they aren't actually harming each other, who cares who had the truck first... go freaking work it out. Be glad you have a truck, we had sticks and dirt. *laugh*
WHO are you playing with??
I *have* seen your kid in action, and I don't remember him being any worse than any other boy his age...Boys are tough, especially at the three and four age. They are too strong and too wild for their own good.
Nick was always bigger then the others in his age group, and he was *very* aggressive. He would punch in the face aggressive.
My idea would be to get together with smaller playgroups, and with women who actually know you. Like with our moms group. There are lots of us with unruly boys who wont judge you because your kid is loud, wild or rough. :0)
You are not alone, and this too will pass.
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